Connections

Neighborhood Grief and Carl the Dog

Several years ago I moved into a tiny house in a modest neighborhood in my small town city. At the time I had a cat of 12 years that I took out for walks and quickly connected to my neighbors with dogs as we passed each other on our daily walks.

Lucky, my cat, loved his daily outings in his pet stroller. One day an older woman on a tricycle with her small black dog yelled, “You should make him walk! They need exercise,” she yelled from across the street. “It’s a cat!” I shouted back across the road. “If I let him out he would run away,” I smiled.

Deb and I bonded superficially over the days and years. She had a rescue dog called Norm that she would take out several times a day and in every season. Through snow, sleet, rain, just like a postman, she was dedicated to her little dog. Deb herself had some disabilities and couldn’t walk well, so she used her bike to get out and about and to give the dog exercise.

We would stop and chat when our paths crossed, but one day I noticed something different. Deb explained that her dog had gone blind and had failing health. I felt bad for the dog but grateful that Deb still took him out on his daily walks. He seemed to manage well. Then one day I saw Deb on her bike without her dog. I knew immediately that the dog must have passed, which she later confirmed. I felt sad for Deb but was impressed with how she had rescued this little animal and gave him a great life.

A few months later, I saw Deb with a new tiny dog, a cross breed of a chihuahua. Deb said his name was Carl. I petted Carl’s little head and was happy that she had rescued another dog. My beloved Lucky sadly passed away at the same time and Deb encouraged me to get another pet and talked about how much joy her little dog had brought into her own life. Then Deb shared that her husband had sadly passed away and that she was lonely. Her eyes teared up as she said she missed him and that her heart was filled with grief. I shared that I was a Counselor and helped people through grief and loss and told her that if she ever wanted to talk, we could. I also knew that talking was hard for Deb but wanted to let her know that someone was here if she needed to share.

Today, our paths continue to cross and I can see Deb and Carl walking past my house quite often. I continue to stop and say hello to bring connection into Deb’s life as I know she is seeking companionship since her husband passed. Today I saw another neighbor take her cat outside to talk with Deb and could see how this small community brings purpose and meaning into each other’s lives in different ways.

Maybe life isn’t about achieving big, huge goals or making a lot of money. Maybe it’s just about connections and making someone else’s life feel better. We often neglect taking the time for other people, but what I have learned is that the small gestures or small efforts of time can change someone’s life.

Make an effort to take the time to say hello, pet a dog or get to know someone you see, you may make a difference in someone’s life.