We have all settled in life in some way or another as we learn to accept that some things we can change, and others we cannot. But there comes a time when we settle for people, situations or life events in ways that cost us more than we think it does. For example, how many of us have settled in a relationship that is unhappy, unfulfilling or simply toxic to our soul? Have you settled for the wrong job, the wrong organization or even the wrong profession?
Over the years, working with thousands of people from all walks of life, I have heard many stories of settling. Elements of these stories are universal and common, and other are just sad. Some of these stories of settling in life are evident by the cost to a person’s soul (depression), their physical health, or the breakdown of their happiness. Many end up using antidepressants or anxiety medication to mask the problems that underly the true reason for their unhappiness or discontentment, because they feel that it’s easier to take medication than it is to make life changes. People are fearful, even terrified of ending relationships and being alone. Staying in a job that is either boring or filled with stress because of benefits (or other reasons, like feelings of security or professional pride), has long term effects that may be irreversible.
Settling in life is common, but ask yourself what you gain from doing so. If you think long and hard, you will find that you don’t gain anything from settling, other perhaps alleviating some irrational fears or “what if’s”. No one benefits from an unhappy situation and no one benefits from a life unfulfilled.
What is one thing in your life that you are settling for? Are there many things you have settled for and if so, why?
Why have you made the decision to settle?
What is the cost of settling to you personally?
What is one step that you can take to resolve one area in which you have settled?
Learn to listen to that inner voice that lets you know in many ways that it is not happy. A sore and aching body, uncontrollable anxiety, or long term depression that does not resolve itself even after therapy are all symptoms that you need to resolve an area in life where you have settled. If any of these things resonates with you, it’s time to ask yourself these questions: Why are you settling? How much longer are you willing to settle?
This is your chance to make the most out of your life.